At age 18 with no boyfriend, a reader wrote to get advice from readers on why she does not have a boyfriend. Here were the responses for her:
First of all, an 18-year-old is still young and a good time to start reviewing what the problem could be. But more importantly, if you are not an attractive person in beauty then definitely your dress sense and sense of humor must be top-notch if you want people, especially guys to look your way at all. So apart from praying to God to remove the shield that probably may have been put on you that makes them not to look your way or see you, you also work on yourself. Wear good clothes and good perfumes and a beautiful smile. Even if you’re not attractive that much, the smile would still go along the way bringing people closer and a good scent would make them want to talk more, then a good sense of humor would make some want to know you more. If you have a beautiful heart you will find someone who will want to be a part of that heart.
She said “fat and ugly”, now that is offensive does it mean ugly people are fat or fat people are ugly? The logic does not add up. As to why she can’t get a man, maybe it’s her way of thinking. She might need to look critically into that.
There are several reasons a lady may not get the attention of guys. Mind you, I said guys. That means there must have been a guy for her. If she insists that no guy at all, then she should check if she has a very good interpersonal relationship. Does she talk to people? Does she associate with people? Isn’t she harsh at little words? Then, if she’s doing all of this, I am sure she has a secret admirer. She should calm down; the person is coming. Sometimes one should be grateful for not being in the hands of guys early enough, being kept for the correct one.
There is no one answer to these situations She might be a lady of great standards that guys feel they cannot match. She might be too serious and guys may not want an overly serious lady. She might be the problem herself, being so selective of the guy she wants to ask her out. The key is to find out what is wrong and address it.
So, the thing is no matter how much we try to be modern we cannot ignore the spiritual aspect of life. For those who believe though, her case might be spiritual. But on a natural level, she should check her attitude. You know, guys these days can smell bad attitude from afar and will avoid you. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so please let’s ignore the ugly side of her reasons. And she might also need to learn how to read signals, probably she is just not seeing it and the guys are just leaving after a long wait for a response.
She sounds like she doesn’t even like herself, that is a big issue. She should be comfortable in her own skin. Then, if her problem is not physical it will be a spiritual problem. With critical analysis, a solution can be found which could be a response to some questions.
Irrespective of her physical appearance, at 18, the least of her problem should be having a boyfriend. Although we live in a fast-paced world, having a boyfriend at that age is neither an achievement nor a thing worth boasting of. She should just keep to herself and move on with life
She is not serious, boys are not asking her out and she is suddenly depressed? Isn’t that what our parents want? She should focus on the things that matter, the stuff that counts. Her mother must be praying. When she is 27, the men will be ready and they will show up.
She might be ugly, or maybe her standard is high. She might be rude or spoilt, nobody can tell. I don’t know who she is, but assuming all these are true, it will give guys around her the impression that, it will be better if I am in my lane, be her friend, than to want to have a romantic relationship with her whatsoever, because for someone like that, dealing with her alone as a friend will require strength.
Could be due to different factors but it doesn’t mean you are ugly, get a handle on your self-esteem. You just have not met a bold guy to walk up to you and say the word. There is that fellow who will love you just the way you are. So give it TIME!
You are either unavailable, unapproachable, you exercise self-hatred, or you have a biased opinion about everything. From your statement, you sounded like being “fat or chubby” is a flaw that can limit one from being hit on, which is wrong.
Maybe subconsciously she doesn’t want to have a boyfriend and chases them away without knowing or her attitude is too bad, or she looks childish physically that guys feel like paedophiles while trying to approach her, or she simply hasn’t met her boyfriend yet.
She might not be ugly, beauty they say is in the eyes of the beholder. She might not just be as sensible as those who intend to woo her expect her to. She might even be proud, perhaps, that is why a lot of people are staying away from her.
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